apology first for those who regularly read my blog.. if there are…
because… i'm about to post yet another pigment of my so called life…

my unemployed life (for those, new to my blog) if there are…

so what about???

i just finished watching POSTGRAD ... needless to say, it’s a story about a life after college…
what struck me most about the story… is i find myself living in the lead character’s life…

the resemblances:
1.she’s nice… i am(i think i am atleast)
2.she’s not the number 1 in the class but she’s one of the best… i was (i think i was)
3.she’s a rule player, neat freak and a planner… i am(this one i’m sure i am)

the opposites:
1.she’s a she… i am a he
2.her bestfriend(man)since freshmen is totally in love with her… my bestfriend(woman)since freshmen is in love with me in a familial way,(were cousins)
3.she has an eccentric family… i got an ordinary one(i’m grateful nonetheless)

well, anyway…
for the past couple of days…
i was so bored…
so bored that i keep looking back on the “what ifs” of my post grad …the shoulda-woulda-coulda…
i was so sure that my life will change november,2009… 2 more days from now and it's over… and i'm still where i was…
i keep asking myself… what if i applied for a job? job that i might get if i had given my application… but i didn’t, because i know that it will be temporary…
there’s no one to blame here but me because it was a conscious decision that i now regret…have i known… albeit no one did… until now that it’s too late…
so nothing to do but just wait for that thing i am waiting 4 months now, almost…

back to the movie: there are times she self pity because almost everybody in her class found a job and looking fine… it was hard for her because like i said she’s a planner and things weren’t going her way… but one day her life made a complete 360… she got the job she was hoping since her graduation… and as happy as it may sound… it made her anything but…

and then:
“What you do with your life is really just one half of the equation… the other half, more important half really is who you’re with when you’re doing it”

a job can be about the money… but for sure it isn’t…

one day i will know if i am wrong...
hope i'm not.

nung biyernes, sabay na lumabas ang music video ng mga bagong kanta ng mag-ex na sina chris brown at rihanna...
at dahil sa isa akong masugid na tagapakinig ng mga kanta nila...
hindi ko maiwasang mapansin na kawawa sila...

kawawa sila...
dahil pareho silang nasaktan...
kawawa sila...
dahil pareho silang nagtangkang ipagpatuloy ang buhay ngunit ang totoo ay hirap pa din sila...
ito ay kitang kita sa dalawang kantang ito...
pansinin na lahat ay may kanya kanyang representasyon ng bawat isa sa video...


"Why did I change the pace
Hearts were never meant to race
I always felt the need for space
But now I can't reach your face"


"And you can see my heart beating
You can see it through my chest
And I’m terrified but I’m not leaving
Know that I must pass this test
So just pull the trigger"

kawawa sila...
dahil masakit ang magpatatoo mas masakit ang ipabura ito...

pero gaya ng inaasahan...
wala pa rin silang kupas sa paggawa ng magagandang kanta...
kawawa man sila...
lilipas din yan...
basta OK mga kanta nila...
wala na kong pakialam sa iba...
bow!

i hang out with some of my college friends yesterday… and by college friends I mean the employed nurses not like me…

since we haven’t seen each other in a while… most of the time… it was all question and answer… how are you?? how’s work so far??? pretty much all of that… blah blah blah… and just like any other get together - chitchat there’s got to be talking about other people… and so we did…

one friend of mine was slightly upset when her bestfriend, simply went to Saudi to work and not tell her… she was surprised i knew about it sooner than she did… after all she was her bestfriend… its either her so called bestfriend purposely didn’t tell her or i’m just fast with news slash gossip…(whatever the case maybe)

then our conversation went on and on… talking about other people(the ones belonging to our class)
suddenly…
i came to realize… that some of them aren’t reachable anymore... atleast for me that is…
no calls, no texts, and no emails… open for friendster and/or facebook only…

i'ts in my profile that i don’t do this online networking sites… it doesn’t interest me at all… fact is, i even never wondered why??? i mean… although everybody is into it... not me… guess because i’m a self proclaimed killjoy or outcast or maybe i just don’t care…

so i think…
it's about time to re evaluate…
is it a good idea to create an account now?
why would i create an account now?

like i said some of my friends can only be reached through these sites…
my sister invites people for party through these sites…
some give their birthday greetings through these sites…
my 11 year old nephew posts as a grown man and asked me to chat with him through these sites…
i asked my sister to photoshare onetime and she told me just get them through these sites…

it seems to me…
i can lose contact with some friends…
i can be uninvited for a party…
i might get a few greetings less in my birthdays…
i might not get hold on new pictures of my nephews and niece in UK…

so what to do?
no... i will not be creating an account anytime soon…

for i am still me, stubborn and selfish… not into friendster, facebook or twitter and anything in between, so maybe stuck with blogging… forever or not… there’s always that.

kauuwi lang naming galing hospital…
dinapuan kasi ng typhoid ang pamangkin ko na kung mag-e-srcoll down lang ay makikita pa ang masaya nyang larawan…

sabi ko nga kauuwi lang namin… meaning… ok na siya… may rashes pa… pero ok na siya… Salamat kay Lord...

pero dahil sa hindi niya naman blog ito… at marahil dahil sa selfish ako… ang tungkol sa iba ay gagawin kong tungkol sa akin…

at dahil nga sa ako ang dakilang tambay dito sa bahay…
wala akong karapatan umangal ng sabihing ako ang magbabantay sa hospital…
at dahil sa RN ako… dapat nga naman na ako ang magbantay kasama ng kapatid ko(mama ng pamangkin ko) na isa ring RN...

sa 3 araw na pamamalagi namin sa hospital…

may mga napagtanto ako…

1. sa lahat ng problema sa bahay… ang pinaka apektado ako ay ang may mga kinalaman sa kalusugan…

totoo yung sabi nila na what you don’t know wont hurt you… at sa akin… what i know will worry me…

2. kahit pala hindi ako masaya nung college sa course ko… kahit papano namimiss ko din ng kunti ang pagsuot ng puti at magduty…

totoo yung sabi nila na fake it until you make it… sa akin… fake it and pass the board…

3. ayaw ko man maging nurse pero isa na akong RN… napansin ko lang na parang mas magaling naman ako kahit papano sa mga nurses na na-encounter ko dun sa hospital… dahil ako, kahit ayaw ko sa ginagawa ko… hindi ko pinapakita(Sh*t ang plastik ko pala!!!) dahil ako nakikipagusap ako lagi sa mga pasyente at mga kamag anak nila tuwing papasok ako sa kwarto…

totoo yung sabi nila na Oh yes I'm the great pretender (ooh ooh) Pretending I'm doing well (ooh ooh)... kailanman hindi ako nagvideoke!

Tanda ko nuon: dahil sa bawal tumanggap ng kahit anu galing sa mga pasyente, ay inilagay ng pasyente kong lola ang isang napakalaking saging sa bulsa ko at nagbantang huwag na huwag kong ibabalik… may isa namang retired english teacher na ako lang ang kinakausap sa mga nurses on duty… at may isang ina ng pasyente na isa pa lang NSO official na natandaan ako at tinulungan ng minsang pumunta sa opisina nila…

masaya naman pala maging nurse…
masayang makatulong…
masayang makapagpasaya
ang malungkot lang…
hindi ako masaya…

Sh*t!!! selfish nga ako!!!!
Hay!!!!

gusto ko lang ipaalam na hindi masarap yung twister sa kfc!!!
yun lang...

pero masarap yung strawberry banana krusher...
yun lang...

isang araw…
sa buhay ng isang self proclaimed OC..
sumikat si haring araw at tinapa ang nakahain sa hapag kainan…
napagisipang isa lang ang magandanag gawin sa araw na iyon…
ang linisan ang kwarto ng ama…
dahil dalawang araw na ang nakalipas ng makakita ng naglalakad na nilalang na itago natin sa pangalang… ipis…

naglinis…
nagtapon…
nasugatan…
nasaktan…
pero matapos ang lahat… nasiyahan sapagkat malinis na ang magmumukha sanang district 9 kung pinabayaan na lang…

sa araw na iyon…
may mga bagay na napagtanto ang self proclaimed OC…

1.matinding palaisipan kung aalisin ang mga agiw... Sino na lamang ang kakain sa mga nilalang na itago natin sa pangalang insekto???
2.napatunayang naloko na naman ng isang commercial sa pagaakalang epektibo ang mr muscle gaya ng mensahe nito sa tv…
3.at siguro magandang mamasukan sa isang janitorial services????

anu kaya???

lately i’ve been listening to sound of owl city… their song fireflies keeps playing in my head…
one time, while watching tv for hours, as i stand up to eat i started singing… “i’d like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly…”
and this morning, after breakfast i would usually go back to my room, clean up and turn my laptop on… and as i did i found myself singing again “i’d like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly…”

i am usually like that with songs… but me being fixated is not the subject of this post…
i think, everyone knows that i’m a home stuck… tambay… still waiting for employment to come…

a typical day for me is a cycle of waking up-breakfast-laptop and/or ipod-lunch-tv-nap/no nap-merienda-sitting on our terrace-ipod-bath-dinner-laptop-milk with a little something-rosary-sleep.(baby sits anytime)

i am usually like this… but me being a person of habits is not the subject of this post…

just this morning…
i think i had an epiphany… with singing in my head… “i’d like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly…”

not with the earths rotation but rather with the thought that sometimes we make ourselves believe...

so what are the things you make yourself believe?
here are mine…

i’d like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly…”
joke!… so much for originality…

serious this time…
again
here are mine…

i'd like to make myself believe that good guys should get most girls and not them so called bad guys…
i'd like to make myself believe that not knowing is more convenient...
i'd like to make myself believe that good food are those home cooked...
i'd like to make myself believe that there are truths in horoscope...
i'd like to make myself believe that contraception is a great idea but not a great solution…
i'd like to make myself believe that there is hope for our country...
i'd like to make myself believe that exercise is the key to a healthy life...
i'd like to make myself believe that sometimes is the new always...
i'd like to make myself believe that all problems have solution so we must stop complaining…
i'd like to make myself believe that time is the best medicine...
i'd like to make myself believe that everything happens for a reason…
i'd like to make myself believe that i have more to believe other than this, i know i do…

believing can be very powerful…
just look at the psych patients if you know what i mean...

obvious na ba???
i’m a believer…
are you???
sabi nga... the more you believe the merrier...

all this time my head is singing:
“i'd like to make myself believe
that planet earth turns slowly
it's hard to say that i'd rather stay
awake when i'm asleep
because my dreams are bursting at the seams”
(until fade…)

i got to find me the stop button... fast!!!

this was taken few months back by my nephew(the eldest of five and a fetus pamangkins i have and will have respectively) the one on the photo is the youngest of the five, fetus excluded of course...

that day my nephew just decided to post as a photographer, grabbed the camera ,a few clicks gone and he got this…

we all laugh at it for obvious reason… i mean… who wouldn’t…
its his first birthday today…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Jat!!!

may you have many more birthdays to come…

i love you…

ngayon ay pangatlong araw na hindi umulan dito samin…
mainit pero sa tagal ba naming umulan at bumaha pa ay masaya na ko sa ganito…
ilang linggo na ding ondoy pepeng ang laman ng balita…
kagaya ng ah1n1, wala kang hindi malalaman tungkol sa estado ng mga lugar na nasalanta…
halos lahat ng estasyon sa tv may kanya kanyang helpline sa mga gustong tumulong…
nakakatuwang malaman na marami ang nagaabot ng kanilang serbisyo sa mga biktima ng bagyo…
medyo may mga naiinis naman sa iba na kung susuriin ay mukhang nagpapakitang gilas sa mata ng publiko…
ngunit kung susuriin ng mas mabuti, bukal man sa loob nila o hindi ay nakakatulong pa din sila… at yun ang mas importante higit sa anu pa mang hidden agenda kung meron man…

dito… hindi namin naramdaman ang bagsik ni ondoy, ngunit ng dumating si pepeng, umulan ng may kasabay na hangin na malakas… ngunit bumaha dahil sa dam na may hindi gaanong kalayuan samin… na sa tingin ko ay ang nagpalala sa mga pagbaha sa lahat ng lugar na nadaanan ng 2 bagyong ito…

nung kasagsagan ni pepeng, halos lahat ng text na nababasa ko galing sa mga kaibigan ko ay maghintay dahil kung di tumigil ang ulan sa kani kanilang lugar ay magpapaka christine reyes sila, kaya’t siguraduhin ko daw na activated ang gprs ng cellphone ko… ang sabi ko naman meron ba kayong richard?

tuwing may bagyo…
sinisiguro ko na meron akong makakain na knick knacks milk flavor…
nagsimula ito nung bago pa lang ito sa merkado at paparating naman si bagyong rosing…
dahil sa pamilya kami ng mga madaling mauto ng patalastas, bumili ang kapatid ko…
nang dumating na si rosing, bumaha, nakulong sa bahay na may maraming knick knacks at yun na…

hindi naman siya ganuon kasarap pero tuwing may bagyo o kahit malakas lang ang ulan sumasarap siya…

at sa nakaraang mga araw… wala ng bagyo… wala na ding ulan… mainit… ngunit bakit masarap ang sardinas?

isang araw karga ang pamangkin ko at dahil sa ayaw na magpababa…
kinarga ng parang isang taon sa sobrang tagal…

mabuti na lang at naiwan bukas ang tv di ko lang mahanap ang remote…

at hindi problema sakin na wala ang remote, hindi dahil sa gusto ko na pumunta sa harapan ng tv at mag manual pindot … ngunit dahil sa ok lang sakin manuod ng mga patalastas… minsan nga mas ok pa sakin ang mga commercials keysa sa kung anu ang palabas…
at dahil dito…

1.hindi ako bumibili ng produkto na walang patalastas.
2.magmomotor sa kalaliman ng gabi makabili lang ng snickers dahil nainggit dun sa nagbbreak dance.
3.at nadidisapoint kadalasan dahil naloloko ng mga patalastas. (high expectations)

kaya nuong araw na yun habang nanunuod ng tv karga ang pamangkin ko….
napagtanto ko na…

kung gusto mong…

magkaroon ng instant computer… manuod ka ng dora the explorer at hintaying may ipahanap saiyo si dora… at mabibigla ka na lang na may lalabas na arrow ng mouse na mas magaling pa nga dahil kontrolado ng isip mo… yun nga lang sa tuwing may ipapahanap lang si dora ka magkakaroon ng computer at yun eh kung tama ang sagot mo sa tanong niya...

kung gusto mong…

makaranas ng kasiyahan… simple lang at hindi lang dahil sa natural sa mga pinoy ito kundi nabibili lang sa mga 24 hours na mga botika kaya anytime basta may pera ka… mag enervon ka…(basahin ng pasigaw ito----Happiness!!!)

at

kung gusto mong…

makita si bitoy… siguraduhin lang na hugasan ang mga plato, kutsyara’t tinidor ng bareta at baka sakaling magpakita siya sumisigaw ng "may sabon!!!"… paalala lang kung gagawin ito, hinay hinay ang pagsubo at baka makain niyo si bitoy at higit sa lahat ang sabon…

just read this this morning...
i know some was disappointed with transformers 2, but i wasn't...
so im pretty excited about this one...
i know from the moment shia told in a red carpet in japan during the premiere of TROF that the next one will be intergalactic... but i have my doubts... until now...

posted morning of october 1st...
Well its official: We have a great Transformers 3 story. The release date is now July 1st 2011. Not 2012.

Today is Day One. This morning started with an ILM meeting for five hours in San Francisco. Currently I'm flying with writer Ehren Kruger to Rhode Island to talk to Hasbro about new characters.

P.S. Megan Fox, welcome back. I promise no alien robots will harm you in any way during the production of this motion picture. Please consult your Physician when working under my direction because some side effects can occur, such as mild dizziness, intense nausea, suicidal tendencies, depression, minor chest hair growth, random internal hemorrhaging and inability to sleep. As some directors may be hazardous to your health, please consult your Doctor to determine if this is right for you.

Pain and Gain is right after shooting of Trans 3.

Michael
source

we can only speculate so much about the story and characters(aliens and earthlings)...
as long as i know that there is transformers 3 im fine with that...
wow!!! 2011 is 2 years from now... thats a long wait definitely...
Transformers 3 o7/01/11

---------------SEGUE----------------

my other waiting was over when chris brown released his first single i can transform ya feat lil wayne & swizz beatz few days ago... and this one disappointed i am... it's kinda good but considering his current status, he needed something greater than great that could make people forget that he was the guy who punch rihanna not once but a lot of times... ok... im not his number 1 fan, but i am a fan of his music... and what he did... not cool... nevertheless im still hoping his album has great tracks on it...

nang matapos sa highschool...
nag college...
malayo sa bahay...
at nagpahaba ng buhok...(may konek ba???)

high school pa lang...
gustong gusto ko na magpahaba..
kaya lang strikto ang school namin sa grooming...
at mas lumayo ang posibilidad ng sumali sa pmt... mas pinaikli pa nga...

kayat ng nagcollege...
nagpahaba ng buhok...
tuwang tuwa ako nun dahil sa wakas natupad na din...
at kapag natutuwa ka...
malamang matatapos din...

makaraan ang isang taon...
kinailangan ko ng magpagupit...
kagaya ng dati... dahil dapat...
magsusuot na kasi kami ng puting uniform...

lumipas ang 4 na taon...
dahil sa magrereview lang naman...
at hindi kailangang maikli ang buhok...
kayat nagpahaba ulit...
hanggat sa nakapasa...
ang totoo nga ay pati ang picture sa lisensya ko naka pony tail pa...

ilang buwan ang lumipas...
kailangan ng magtraining sa hospital...
kaya... nagpagupit na naman ako...

matapos ang 4 na buwan...
kinailangan ang serbisyo ko sa pag asikaso ng mga papeles ng aking mga pamangkin...
pabalik balik sa maynila di naman requirement ang maikling buhok...
kaya nagpahaba na naman...

ng sinabihang kumuha ng pasaporte...
napag desisyunan ko na magpagupit na lang...
kahit sa pagkakataong ito hindi naman kailangan...
para desente naman... ayokong mapagkamalang adik(hindi dahil lahat ng adik mahahaba ang buhok) ewan ko ba...

ilang buwan ang nakalipas...
nag apply...
at ngayon nag hihintay ng tawag...
mahaba na naman ang buhok ko...

iniisip ko kung bakit gustong gusto ko mahaba ang buhok ko...
kahit parehas lang na magastos... kung mahaba - conditioner, kung maikli naman - gel...
siguro dahil, sa buong buhay ko... sinusunod ko lahat ng sabihin sakin...
dapat ganito, ganyan... sa totoo lang hindi pa ako nalate o nag absent man lang sa mga naging klase ko... at sinunod ko din kagustuhan ng mama ko na mag nursing ako...

ewan ko ba...
sa mga oras na mahaba ang buhok ko...
makailang beses na akong sinabihan ng mam, ms, at kanina lang madam naman...
pero, dahil sa mahaba din ang buhok ko...
nakaka tago ako sa mga taong gustong iwasan...
kanina paguwi sakay ng van, nakita na tatabi sakin klasmeyt ko nung elementary...
wala akong utang sa kanya, o kasalanan...
ayoko ko lang siyang makausap... makipagkwentuhan sa 40 minutong biyahe...
isa siya sa mga hindi ko gusto sa klase namin nuon...
hindi mabait, nakakatakot at matalino(hindi sa masama ang maging matalino pero sa kaso niya oo, nuon)...

sana lang hindi nya ako namukhaan kanina...
kasi kung ang tingin ko sa kanya dati lang...
malamang ang tingin nya sakin dati din...

kaya lang... dahil sa mahaba ang buhok... posibleng hindi...

and so the story continue...
the story of my so called...
crowning glory...

every morning my niece and nephew watched wonder pets on tv 5...
after that it's time for me to play my ipod and eat my breakfast...
this morning i noticed that i have many song covers...
songs that are sang by another artist making them sound interesting and even better...
that exclude the ones from boyce avenue and american idol...
i have the veronicas version of a jonas brothers original, the fray doing kanye west, lady gaga singing a coldplay hit and a lot more...

apparently lady gaga doesn't just do other songs brilliantly she also has brilliant songs herself that are made into...

this...

better show than speak of...

chris daughtry did this months ago... i always been a fan of the band since home... and hearing him do an unconventional let alone a "you never thought of" him singing is pretty much impressive...

the latest to my playlist is another lady gaga song done by another chris, this time it's chris wallace from the white tie affair... who did a great job... really... watch and hear here...

it's funny because paparazzi is the newest song my niece sing along with, so i play it quite often if not everytime... even with this version she still know the words, and by words i mean only her and the likes of her(2 year old kids) babbles...

so if anyone knows a song covered...
let me know...
i would love to add them to my growing list...

the song should be known to many if not all and sang by another artist known also to many if not all and ultimately must not be an OPM...
im sorry...
but im still am proudly pinoy...
just not in this department...

PLOT: Intertwining couples and singles in Los Angeles break-up and make-up based on the pressures and expectations of Valentine's Day.

i read about this a long time ago...
this ain't my type of a movie...
im into sci fi and mostly fi alone...

but when i saw the trailer, this morning...
i know i will be watching this for sure... since i have a feeling that i won't be having a date on valentines...
i think this is going to be a nice distraction or a reason to pretend that i won't be distracted that day... that is, if it will be shown here same day in US.
oh well, only one way to find out...

wait...

besides who needs a date...
ok... a lot of people surely do...
am i one of those people?
maybe yes...
maybe not...
i don't know...
oh well, only one way to find out...

wait...

P.S.
taylor swift(the one everybody sympathizes with) is also in this movie along with taylor lautner(the dog in twilight)...

i've been posting stuff about me being an unemployed up to this moment…
i applied to something that i know i will be happy and what i believe is the place i belong...
so i never consider trying anywhere else...
sadly, im still waiting for their call!!!
i hope they do it soon though…
or later… that’s fine too…

i am not looking this time because i convinced myself that anytime i will be receiving that call…

and just two days ago…
i received a potential job offer … a friend asked me if i’m interested in a job offered originally to him but he just can’t accept it for professional reason, and he immediately thought of me to fill in for him…
it’s open for an RN specifically for a job not usually an RN would do…
that‘s the major reason why i am perfect(according to him)for it…
i was thrilled with the idea at first because i thought so too…
so i was in conundrum all day until i did some pros and cons…
and yet there were more cons just because i tried to think more of it…
it’s not that i will be accepted outright… and i know that i have all the qualifications only minus the skepticism…

after that day i just refused to prepare my application…
and move on with my nothing but do nothing life…

and then this morning…
another offer came… this time its an RN job…
the answer was easy… NO!

it’s nearly 2 months of waiting for the call…
i hope its not conceited of me to just wait…
so i think i will give it time…
i already waited long enough…
i hope i didn't wasted enough…

in the end... i am...

in a conundrum…

again...